


Amongst the Withered Hydrangea Petals

by anavrin89



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:33:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27971660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anavrin89/pseuds/anavrin89
Summary: This was inspired by that scene in "Little Women" where Laurie says "Don't marry him."I was originally going to this set in post-time-skip (and I still might do this) where Ushijima is getting married and Oikawa comes to the wedding and confesses his love before he actually gets married, after a break-up with Ushijima years ago, and Ushijima refuses, talking about how he was, is, and always will be second to Iwaizumi in Oikawa's heart because the reason they broke up in the past was that Oikawa loved Iwaizumi. I don't know if I'm explaining it so that you can understand but once I write it (which I most likely will) you will know what I am saying.Anyways, Thank you for reading :)
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Amongst the Withered Hydrangea Petals

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by that scene in "Little Women" where Laurie says "Don't marry him." 
> 
> I was originally going to this set in post-time-skip (and I still might do this) where Ushijima is getting married and Oikawa comes to the wedding and confesses his love before he actually gets married, after a break-up with Ushijima years ago, and Ushijima refuses, talking about how he was, is, and always will be second to Iwaizumi in Oikawa's heart because the reason they broke up in the past was that Oikawa loved Iwaizumi. I don't know if I'm explaining it so that you can understand but once I write it (which I most likely will) you will know what I am saying. 
> 
> Anyways, Thank you for reading :)

It had been five months since Oikawa discovered Ushijima had Hanahaki. Five months since he discovered Ushijima slouching over a toilet filled with flower petals and blood. The worst part, Oikawa was the cause of it. Oikawa knew the moment he saw the petals of his favorite flowers, Hydrangeas. He never meant to hurt Ushijima this way, no matter how much he disliked him and in the five months, since he’s known, he’s tried to love him for three, even after Ushijima said that he didn’t want to burden him this way, and gave up on trying in the last two. No matter how hard he tried he just couldn’t love him. Instead, he loved his best friend, Iwaizumi. But he soon realized Iwaizumi didn’t and probably wouldn’t ever love him like that. He knows how bad it sounds and knows what he is about to do is extremely selfish and uncalled for. 

Oikawa stood on the other side of the gym for a few moments. Thinking, contemplating. He was in Shiratorizawa’s gymnasium for a practice match and knew he needed to talk to Ushijima about this, and he realized this may be one of the only chances he gets to say, or rather  _ ask _ , what he wants. He finished procrastinating and decided to just go for it because he quite literally didn’t have all day. He made his way over to the benches on Shiratorizawa’s team’s side and sat down next to Ushijima. Ushijima noticed his presence, finished taking a drink from his water bottle, and turned to Oikawa. 

“Oikawa. Is there something you need?”

Oikawa didn’t answer, he just sat there, face paled, staring at Ushijima, trying to avoid what he was about to do.

“Oikawa, are you alright? Are you ill?”

Oikawa swallowed and opened his mouth. He was about to swallow again, but this time it was his pride.

“Don’t get the surgery, Ushiwaka.”

Ushijima was going to get the surgery to get rid of his Hanahaki. He told Oikawa two months ago, hence why Oikawa stopped trying to love him. Ushijima knew the risks and the sacrifices, but he wasn’t stupid in his decision. He knew Oikawa would most likely never love him, and, as selfish as it was, he wanted to live the life in front of him. One where he would have a long, successful career in volleyball, playing in professional leagues, and hopefully Japan’s National Team one day. So, he made the decision to have the surgery even if it would cost him greatly.

“What?” Ushijima breathed, shocked.

“I said,” Oikawa closed his eyes and sighed, “Don’t get the surgery.”

“ _ Why? _ ” Ushijima said, his throat starting to constrict.

“Why?” Oikawa opened his eyes to look into Ushijima’s, then back at the floor, and timidly said,” I think you know why.”

“No.” 

“Ushiwaka…”

“No. No.”

“Ushiwaka..”

“Oikawa, you’re being mean.”

“Ushiwaka, listen-”

“Stop it. Stop it!”

Ushijima and Oikawa’s teammates started to look over at the scene unfolding before them, not knowing just how big it would be.

“I have always been second to Iwaizumi in your eyes, in almost everything, every time. I will not be the person you settle for just because you can’t be with him.” Ushijima said, tears welling in his eyes.

“Ushiwaka, please, listen-”

“No. I won’t do it. I won’t be that person. I won’t - Not when I have spent almost my entire life loving you!” Ushijima shouted before turning away and practically running out of the gym, silently sobbing, disregarding the others calling after him to make sure he was okay. 

Oikawa fucked up. He knew he did. Now everyone in the gymnasium was staring at him, wondering what the hell just happened. He got up and went to the bathroom with a quiet “Excuse me” trying not to cry in front of everyone. 

He fucked up, and now he might never get to fix it.


End file.
